'Just make a choice.' 'Can't you just be grateful for what you have?' 'Cheer up, it's not that bad!' 'Lots of people have it worse off than you do.' Just some of the things people have said to me, and I'm sure to you if you live with the black dog. People mean well, but end up just making things a lot worse. Living with someone with depression is very hard, it is also a very difficult thing to understand, when you yourself are a inherently upbeat and positive person. Recently I found these two videos by the World Health Organisation on Depression and living with someone living with the black dog. They help very much to educate, both parties. Yes, it is difficult, but not impossible. Feel free to comment below, and share your experience and tips and trick that have helped your relationship.
11 Comments
Black dog's spouse
7/20/2016 17:43:48
I live with a spouse that's battling the black dog. For me, everyday is a challenge as I'm not sure how the day will turn out. I understand that it's a sickness and I can't just wish it away. There's nothing easy about it. It takes a toll on the rest of the family as well as no one truly understands how it feels and they can't seem to grasp what it means to battle the black dog. I've tried so many different things to change the battle, to help her rise above it, but we're still fighting. We've gone through the attempted suicide and luckily survived. Still the black dog remains. For me, it's tough, I try to be the motivator and I try to help where I can, but the illusive happiness and peace still evades us. Medication has helped a lot, but it's still not done. I personally have to keep myself motivated that we will reach a point where we will beat this dog and when that day comes, it will be glorious. For now, we live day to day, keeping up the good fight in the hope that we will be successful. Talking about how we feel has helped, talking with professionals has helped as well. They seem to understand the sickness whereas talking with just friends doesn't quite get the job done as they can't comprehend what is going on. I implement listening to worship music as it seems to help and I try to find ways to brighten her day. I can see in her eyes that nothing really makes her happy at this point, she's lost the will to live and that is a hard battle. Yes she has to make a choice to change her mind, but to get her mind to get to that point is tricky, if I say the wrong thing, she tumbles back down the hole. For me, I'll keep on fighting. I dream of a day where we can both be happy together. I believe that day will come and I spend time in prayer asking for that day to come! For the spouses living with someone who's fighting the black dog, don't give up. Every good day is a great motivator to keep the good fight going. There will come a time where the black dog will be put in its place!
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Pierre
7/20/2016 20:24:53
Hi
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11/10/2016 08:59:09
Hi
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Liesl
7/20/2016 22:14:43
I'm the one in our relationship battling the black dog. I feel like whatever or whoever I come into contact with, becomes tainted with some of my illness....like I 'rub off' on them somehow. It's tough to see my husband struggle sometimes and I try to be 'better', but I can only keep it up for so long before I relapse. It seems like a neverending cycle. I hope for my children to grow up as unscathed by this as possible. I would hate to know that I've caused them emotional pain because of how I feel daily. I pray a lot for guidance and change in my life.
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Pierre
7/21/2016 05:30:43
Hi L
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11/10/2016 08:59:40
Hi
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Jamie
7/21/2016 00:31:49
I had horrific depression (after a divorce) that nearly cost me my life 3 years ago. Thanks to meds, therapists, and -- more than anything -- the passage of time, I'm back to being a functioning person.
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Pierre
7/21/2016 05:35:42
Hi Jamie
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11/10/2016 09:00:11
Hi
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James Sands
7/21/2016 00:41:54
I'm so sorry for the multiple postings! Everytime I clicked on "submit" I received an error message that "something" went wrong. . . . If someone can delete them, I'd be grateful!
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Pierre
7/21/2016 05:36:17
No worries!
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